The Boston Comedy Q&A: Betsy Salkind

Betsy Salkind at M.I.T. Oct 22

Betsy Salkind came to Boston to get a masters in management from M.I.T. She left having discovered she was an extraordinarily talented comedian and didn’t want to be a bank examiner. She wrote one-person shows, performed improv with The Guilty Children, did stand-up – everything you could do to be funny.

When she left, she was no less diverse, writing for the sitcom Roseanne, acting, and creating her own versatile style of stand-up that spans the spectrum from politics to an impression of a squirrel eating a cracker.

She’s added activist to her resume, speaking out on behalf of child abuse survivors (Sacramento’s SB 33 bill) and against adult ads on Craigslist. For that last one, she led a protest outside of Craigslist’s San Francisco headquarters as Craig NewPimp. Oh, and let’s not forget author of Sunday School Bible Classics (see the video below). And ventriloquist dummy for puppetmaster Dot Jones (currently the new football coach on Glee)... you could almost do this all day.

She has been limited for a while by a hypothyroid condition cause by auto-immune problems (even that hasn’t escaped her wit – see the Betsy’s Unlicensed Medical Practice link on her site), but she’ll be back at M.I.T. on October 22 for a show at her alma mater.

I spoke with her by phone in late September.

Does the condition affect how you’re able to tour?

You know, I can still get it together for a show. It’ll be interesting now, because I’m traveling a lot of September and October. Which is new. Because for years I really tried to minimize how much I traveled because it just sucked the life out of me. So it’ll be interesting to see how it goes now that I’m feeling better.



It’s also allowed you to practice medicine on your Web site.

Oh, you’ve seen that? Unlicensed Medical Practice? I’m constantly continuing it.

Taking questions from fans and things?

I probably should.

And just give completely wrong advice.

Yeah. Well, yeah. I always say, I’m not a doctor, but…

We spoke about this for the Globe in 2005. You do have that sort of mix, you can do political humor, you can do silly jokes, you can do physical humor. And they’re not necessarily talents that many people can do, or that normally fit together well in one person.

That’s true. I don’t feel anyone would steal my whole act, for sure. That would never happen. And when I record stuff for TV, they’ll always chop it up and will take like one… they’ll always leave out one of those elements. Which is always kind of upsetting for me. But you’re right, it is kind of a weird combo.

You’re someone who, you couldn’t get an idea of who you are in that five-minute late night TV set. Is that problematic for you?

If I did a few more late night five minute spots, then yeah. I did tape a new special that’s currently being edited. I taped a half-hour but they’re only going to use 15, with three other comics.

You would b a particularly bad fit for one of those package tours.

I don’t know. I don’t think that’s true. There are other comics, Julie Goldman, for example, where we sort of share a world view but couldn’t have more different stage personas and ways of dealing with the material. And it just works great together. And I have that experience a lot. Because my style is so different from everyone else that it just kind of works as a contrast, I think.

There is someone here doing a showcase for female comics because he feels they still don’t get the same sorts of opportunities. It’s a standard sort of question, but where do you think that stands, as far as women in comedy?

I think it’s like women in Congress and women on the Supreme Court. Although I think it might be worse than women on the Supreme Court, because that’s up to a third now, I think. I think it’s pretty clear from what’s on television. There’s a lot of really funny women out working in the clubs now that no one’s ever heard of. So there are certainly talented women comics out there.

The other night I did this show, and I hadn’t seen at least half of the comics on it. And there’s always some gem I didn’t know about. So yeah. [puts on a mocking indignant tone] It’s a man’s world. There’s still that idea that if you have more than one woman, somehow it’s ladies’ night.

What I like about shows that have many women on them is, [people] get over the fact that it’s a woman comic, and they see that every woman is different, and they kind of get over the gender stuff right away and just listen to the material and enjoy that. But you still see in the clubs, they don’t call it “men’s night,” but it’s all men, or maybe there’ll be one woman. And if there’s more than one woman, it’s “ladies’ night.”



Do you have any clubs or a sort of circuit that you frequent?

I don’t. Because I’ve been really focused on writing this year. I wanted to finish some projects – I’ve been writing this play – I kind of stopped pursuing the work and just kind of took every gig that came my way. Which turned out to be pretty good. I’m still working regularly. I’ll work anywhere. The M.I.T. gig will be weird because it’s actually in a lecture hall. A huge lecture hall. I think there’s over 300 seats in it.

Many years ago, my very first one-woman show was done in a lecture hall at M.I.T. It was called “Master of Science,” and it was just about all the ways that science is really fucked up. My opening act was an actual rocket scientist. Ed Crawley.

Did he do comedy?

Well, the gig that we arranged was that he would start doing one of his rocket science lectures and then I would come in and kind of interrupt and say, “What the fuck? I have this room,” and then argue about whose room it was.

Will he be making his return?

No, but I may have a special guest comedian.

That begs the obvious next question, which you probably can’t answer.

Yes. One of my favorite comics from when I lived there.

How much time do you spend on political causes like SB 33 and the CraigsList adult listings?

From 2003-2006 I lived about 90 minutes from Sacramento, so during that time I did comedy at night and spent my days organizing and lobbying the CA legislature. The Craigslist thing was just a few days this summer, but I can always find time to squeeze in whatever I want to get involved in. And I love creating comedy about political stuff. I do a lot of fundraisers and benefits so sometimes the work is all the same. One of my comedy influences was Dick Gregory, whose book Nigger was really important to me. It was about his transformation from comedian to civil rights activist and so it always felt perfectly right for me to be both a comic and activist.

Salkind as Craig NewPimp (in the tie)

Could you see yourself going into politics as a profession?

Only as an advocate. If I ever tried to run for office there'd be a lot of video of jokes I'm sure some people would find offensive and inappropriate (which might be good for my comedy career. Hmm.) I would like to be a children's civil rights organizer.



Do you find people don't realize how close to the real story your Sunday School Bible Classics are?

The ones who realize it the most are the seminary students and ministers/rabbis. The ones who heard the stories as children at church or temple or religious school find some parts surprising and might think I made them up. The ones who had no religious education at all (I've only encountered two so far) find the stories just plain horrifying and not at all funny. I guess the rest of us were so indoctrinated, that although most of us thought something was a little off about the stories, we accept them as part of the culture and now enjoy the new perspective on them.

I once debated a (religious) biblical scholar on a radio show who is not used to being confronted with some of the more obscure stories ("Jephthah's daughter," which is kind of like Abraham and Isaac, except God doesn't intervene and he actually kills his daughter; and "The Priest and the Concubine," which starts with a gang-rape and ends with genocide). His only argument was "you have to look at those stories in a larger context." I'm still trying to figure out what context is large enough to justify those things.

What else do you have in store for them?

I wrote and illustrated eight stories. Only two have been published. Three more have been adapted to video. The whole collection is being prepared for epublishing (for the iPad - which is color and hi- res). I was hoping it would be ready for the holiday season, but I don't know the epub date. The original book, however, makes a perfect
Xmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa gift. It's available on Amazon and on my site, and if you order through my site you can have it signed to whoever you like.

I'm also working on a new book which I'm very excited about, and my play Discontinuation Syndrome is in development. The play is a comedy about depression in which Depression (a character) and Eli Lilly (the maker of Prozac) battle for custody of a depressed woman in the court of Judge Mental.



Have you watched your old comedy partner Dot Jones on Glee? What do you think of the character?

I do watch Glee and am so excited for Dot. The character is a lot like her: strong, athletic, scary when she wants to be, but really a big softie with a huge heart. Doing Dot Jones & Peanut with her is among the most fun I've ever had on stage. I just found a tape of a show we did in 1997 with Deb Doetzer (also a Bostonian) that includes a spoof of Mamet called "GlenGary GlenScrabble." The video quality is terrible, but it's hilarious and I plan to post it online.

Betsy Salkind Releases Betsy's Sunday School Bible Classics

In her new book, Betsy’s Sunday School Bible Classics, former Boston comic and M.I.T. grad Betsy Salkind retells the stories of Abraham and Isaac and Lot, and, as describes it, “puts back all the stuff that was removed to keep children from running away screaming,” That includes all of the murder and rape, things people don’t usually associate with these stories. Salkind illustrates the book herself, offering a brutal, effective counterpoint to the simple narrative, designed to look like a child’s notebook.

Salkind has never been shy about potentially offensive material. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be a part of a tour called “Offensive Women,” which also stars Boston native Julie Goldman. For a bit more background, check out her site or my Boston Globe article from 2005. I spoke with Ms. Salkind by e-mail about M.I.T., Bible stories, and pissing people off.

What made you put Bible Classics together?

I had created the style in an earlier book and knew it would be a great way of telling these stories. I have always been bothered by much of the bible and especially by common interpretations of what the stories were about. For example the story of Abraham and Isaac is always told from the perspective of Abraham and is supposedly about his relationship with God. But I always was more interested in Isaac and his experience, and wondered why no one even talked about it. Turns out there are a whole bunch of stories like that. I also found that some of the stories that are taught to children, the "classic" children's bible stories, are seriously abridged and are really more like Grimm's Fairy Tales. Even Noah's Ark had a lot of surprises.

And I chose the old testament because it’s the basis of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, and since we’re supposed to be reverent and respectful of religious people (even if they are not always respectful of each other or non-believers), I thought we should be honest about what’s really in that book, and decide if those morals are really what we want to base our society on.

Was any of this based on stand-up material?

Yes. I had jokes about Abraham and Isaac and Job. A fellow comic, Edmund Johnson, was the son of a preacher and he told me even more horrible stories I didn’t know about. We loved making material out of these stories. It's great material. And references that most people know.

Have you gotten any flak over it yet?

No. I can only hope. Oddly, the religious scholars (or religiously raised) know best that these are the real stories. It seems they have troubled them as well. And so far people find it very funny (if a little disturbing). I thought about giving it to Sunday school children and then letting their parents and teachers try to explain that yes, these are the stories, but...

Are you planning on additional volumes?

Yes. There are 8 stories total, only the first two are in this book. I expect that the whole 8 will be published in a big volume (they are completed and ready to go). Then I plan to take on the Book of Mormon, and some secular stories.

Were you religious as a child? Do you remember questioning these stories when they were first taught to you?

I had a bat mitzvah, but by then was pretty sure god had nothing to do with organized religion. The Abraham and Isaac story always bothered me, and hearing men in the conservative Jewish temple pray "thank God I was not born a woman."

Are you planning more Offensive Women shows in the new year? Any in or near Boston?

There will be more Offensive Women shows. The December shows at the Zipper Theatre (co-produced by Eve Ensler) in NY were a big hit, and I'm sure we will be back there. In addition the show will come to LA, SF in 2009 and eventually tour the country. I'm sure Boston will be on the tour.

How often do you think the show still offends people, even with the warning in the title?

Rarely. I don't think we're really offensive, we just are letting folks know up front that we are not self-censoring, which I think is expected of women. There's so much to be offended by in the world right now, that if you're offended by us you're going to have a hard time getting through the day.

Did you know Julie Goldman when you were at MIT? (Not sure of the timeline for when she was here and you were).

I didn't know Julie when I was at MIT. I met her when she was a student at Emerson. We actually met on a short lived PBS series that was supposed to be a feminist Saturday Night Live. It was produced by Nova producers, so you can imagine how funny that was.

I never asked about this when we spoke - how did you wind up banned in Boston? Where, specifically, were you banned from? (From the "Emperor story in your online bio).

I was banned from the Comedy Connection and any other club they had control over. So was Guilty Children (the improv troupe), because I was a member of the group. They never gave me any paid work anyway, so the banning was just their rage at being called out. They said I shouldn't air comedy's dirty laundry in front of the audience.

I ran across this letter doing some research. What do you think when you read something like that? Do you ever purposefully try to offend someone?

I love this letter, and am amazed at how high up in the Google search it comes. My favorite thing in this letter is the last sentence in the first paragraph:
“But I will try not to dwell on my own feelings and opinions here because they are more-or-less irrelevant, and because I was not present at the event myself.”
I tend to be most offensive to those who are not actually there.

Here was my response in a later issue of that paper:

Letters to the Editor

I am writing in response to the letter by Adam C. Powell ["Women's Comedy Night Deemed Offensive," April 10]. I didn't actually read his letter, but some friends of mine did, and based on their reports, I consider his letter to be misguided, inappropriate, and misrepresentative of my work. I submit the following reply.

I am sincerely sorry that you were offended. I am also sorry if it was not clear to you and your friends before you attended the event that the content would be feminist.

The material I believe caused distress to your friends was a piece about "The Rapture." The entire piece consisted of me reading, verbatim, from a publication about the Rapture put out by a Christian group in Pensacola, Fla. That much of the audience found the readings amusing was entirely their choice.

It is not my intention as an artist to attack individuals or groups for the purpose of getting a laugh. As a feminist comedian I do hold up to scrutiny many patriarchal institutions and their practices. This includes all of the Judeo-Christian religions. The purpose of this is to allow those who are oppressed by those who would oppress them to laugh at the injustices, so as not to be crushed by that which truly is offensive: oppression.

I cannot say that you were not hurt by my obvious disbelief and disagreement with a doctrine which holds meaning for you. However, I would ask you to understand that I believe a humorous presentation of Christian doctrine is not comparable with the offenses done in the name of Christianity (e.g. the burning of 9 million women).

Betsy Salkind '86
http://tech.mit.edu/V112/N21/letters.21o.html

Are you surprised a letter like that would come from M.I.T.?

I am not surprised by anything that comes from MIT. It was a place that showed Deep Throat in campus facilities, got a lot of its money from the department of defense and the weapons industry, and preferred co-ed housing because the buildings suffered less vandalism than the all-male housing. It was also the height of Reagan youth.

I know you were happy leaving the Bank Examiner gig, are you even happier about that decision now?

Oh yes. I can finally use that part of my life for material. I also remembered recently that we had a Federal Reserve Employee Credit Union. The bank regulators did not use banks – they used a credit union. Nuff said?